Consolation

I was in church this morning when I heard a beautiful sermon given by my pastor. It talked about the idea of true comfort- or consolation and how it comes from Christ. For the sermon to really take its toll I needed to chew on it for a bit of time. Hours later I find myself amazed at the enlightenment that comes with figuring out the meaning of that idea: consolation.

The arrival of the one year anniversary of my continuous dilemma is approaching fast and as I reflect on the implications that it has left, I almost feel like laughing. I have had this silent mantra for the last year of, “someday” and while I haven’t neglected the current, I have failed to understand the past for what it really was. I don’t mean to be vague or nonsensical but the truth is that when I examine my actions and wishes I realize that they don’t even make sense. This elephant on my chest has been invited for no reason and I have been foolish to let it overstay a welcome it never should have received.

There are people at my school who can drive me up the wall with their answer to every struggle saying, “it’s life,” but when I take a few steps back and see things for what they really are I agree. We don’t always know why life seems inadequate, confusing, anguishing, or even trite but we can find hope knowing that it’s supposed to be that way because at the end of climb we reach the pinnacle and there we can see the valley we have trudged through. When we see that struggle it often times seems ridiculous or perhaps easier than we made it out to be, but by examining it we learn.

I guess what I have taken out of this long due epiphany is exactly what Oscar Wilde once wrote, “I am not young enough to know everything.” For this last year I have been so overwhelmed but I realize now that it wasn’t the situation that made me confused, but rather myself. Instead of trusting that things were going to change for the better I held the cards in my hand thinking that if I could just persevere a bit more I could win the game.

I didn’t win anything, but rather I lost precious time over something that doesn’t even matter anymore.

Today I want to begin living again. I want to stop dreaming for something to happen. I want to stop trying to be in control of situations that I could never dictate. I want this peace to continue that I feel right now in this instant, and I know that it only comes with succumbing to something bigger. In the future I am going to doubt and cry juts like have doubted and have cried. I am going to want to make it happen myself, and I wont make “it” happen. But if I let someone greater take the reigns, and I understand that the struggle will produce exactly what it needs to then I will jump with happiness at the top of that mountain.

In three weeks I am going to step onto pavement at a place filled with memories, but I am going to be alright. I will be able to qualify Wilde’s statement, I can agree with Tolstoy’s philosophy on the source of wisdom, and for the first time, in a long time, I will be able to feel something glorious, comfort.

A Letter to the Self Important

Pretentious people suck, especially when they go public. Seriously do you think that the world is so ignorant that we have no idea what you are trying to “subliminally” get across? Nine times out of ten your Josie and the Pussycats doll plan isn’t working.

Does my wall really need to be clogged with your nonsensical, annoying ideas?

Sure, everyone is guilty of being pompous and in this blog I subject myself to hypocrisy, but at least I am not flashing the world.

And on a rainy day too. I get on Facebook to comment on the apocalypse like weather that Hell is experiencing and instead I am competing with the attention that your status is receiving. COME ON!

I would just delete you from my friends, but then I would really be a jerk. (Instead I just blog about you- that is much friendlier)

I wonder if Dr. Pretentious Poster knows they are clashing with a good day. Probably. Dr. Pretentious Poster’s whole M.O. is to make them known. If I wanted to be ostentatious then I would drop names like Yale, Luis Vuitton, Versace, and Columbia too. But I don’t. Just saying.

So, my daily word of advice? Stop trying to use Socrates like humility. No one believed him and they certainly aren’t biting into your humble pie. You aren’t fooling anyone. This childish innocence you attempt to portray was old in kindergarten; please stop subjecting your peers to it.

The world would be a more wonderful place if no one had to hear, or read your haughty words, so why don’t you do us a favor and post something we would all enjoy from you:

Silence.

A Rant From Physics Class

For the second time I write from a class where no learning can take place, no science can be explored, and where classical music levels higher than the instructors voice. Yes, Physics class.

Chemistry last year, to put it midley, was hell. As an averadge student in math I struggled to excell in stochiometry, master balancing equations, take pride in moles, and while I ultimatly would pass the class any word realting to Dr. Davis's brutal college level course makes me shudder.

However, in comparison to chemistry, Physics is a breeze. Sure, really no learning has occured, but at least I can come into class fearless. I never have to worry about not having assignments or God forbid, not focusing entirley on Physics!

Well, I just wanted to rant, obviously. Now I am off to do something productful.

This Just In! Hollywood Has Real Grasp Of Reality!

Currently I am in my honors physics class "graphing equations." The truth is my physics teacher so far hasnt exactly given us the knowledge on how to do so, and has left us in the dark on this "Logger-Pro software. Behind me physics partners play cards, to my right a senior is texting, I can hear the clinging of tin cans as a kid with glasses finishes a "teenage" version of a healthy breakfast.

I myself have been personally avoiding this assignment along with the rest of my physics class by playing bubble struggle. I suck at bubble struggle.

But do not be discouraged readers, progress has been made in this class! My partner discovered the wonderful world of Chinese Youtube, behind me someone is successfully training to be a Vegas blackjack dealer. One guy actually understands what to do.

I never actually believed in Hollywood's version of high school, you know the jocks, cheerleaders, nerds in lockers (mainly becuase our school doesn't have lockers) and the main idea that kids can juts do whatever they want in class. Well, my Larry King twin of a physics teacher has slightly altered my doubts of their true knowledge of reality. Slightly.

Perhaps Will Ferrel is wrong in his new movie "The Other Guys" when he says that the movie induustry lies about explosions and how the human body reacts to them. Maybe the true charlotans in scoiety are the scientists and philosiphers...

NEW UPDATE ON THE CLASS EVENTS:
One more child finished a problem! Good job student, only seven more to go, at this rate you will be proving Einstein wrong in two lifetimes! You should feel proud.

True, my words can be harsh, but I say them it the most respect for 2/7 of my physics class. I have genuine faith that some people in here are actually intelligent when it comes to science. The main reason why I think that most of us are confused and finding non-physics realated activities to fill their 2nd hour, is becuase Larry King needs to actually teach.

Speaking of Larry King, (the actual Larry King, not Mr. Nicholls) he is on his last season of his show. Suprisingly I did learn this physics class.

Now, I understand that this blog post might be a tad unorganized and for that I apologize, but I would at this point like to venture on yet another tangent. Perhaps this lack of knowledge on how to do things in his class, is a sign that our dear Larry King look alike needs to retire.

Well, it is almost time to shut down the old computer. Goodbye readers. Off the Espanol!

Playlist

This is, truthfully a second post slightly devoted and made for _____. But since music seems to be having the most effect on my thoughts about ______ these days I will show you my play list, not that you really care, but it is a good way to document these feelings.

1. Half of My Heart –John Mayer
2. Baby- Justin Bieber
3. Somewhere Only We Know-Keane
4. Hero-Regina Spektor
5. Better-Regina Spektor
6. Come Around-Rosi Golan
7. Sweet Disposition- The Temper Trap
8. Here Comes Your Man-Meghan Smith
9. You’re Not Sorry-Taylor Swift
10. Forever & Always-Taylor Swift
11. You Belong With Me-Taylor Swift
12. Oceans-The Format
13. In the Dark of The Night-Anastasia

I think honestly this could continue longer, but then again what about this whole thing doesn’t continue to be continued longer than it should?

Shamu, Your Tank Makes Me Blue (no, I didn't get splashed)

The water parted left and right as the whales sailed through the water. Endless waves seemed to tower over the crowd when they pounded their tales into the blue pond. I was amazed at how wild creatures could be tamed and trained to do flips, twists, turns, and how they could soar.

When the dolphins launched themselves over fifteen feet in the air I was flabbergasted.

I saw Polar Bears up close; I fed Flamingos, flinched at the sight of eels, and stood under sharks, but despite all of my wonderful experiences and delightful company, something was wrong…

I’ve never been a crazy animal lover who only eats mushrooms and other vegetables but I’ve never been Kitler either, so writing this may be slightly shocking to my readers, and even me.

Did you know that Shamu’s tank is only 36 feet deep? This seems terribly small when considering that an adult orca can be up to 30 feet long and weigh more than a few tons?

Remember that scene in “Happy Feet” where Mumble is in the zoo exhibit and he keeps hitting the glass walls and he constantly runs into the arctic backdrop? Well this isn’t a classic Hollywood over exaggerated reenactment, it is so true! Today, when looking at the penguin exhibit I saw not one, but two penguins have the same “Happy Feet” moment minus the dancing.

I am torn at this point. I love seeing animals up close and personal, but when I consider the facilities provided for these animals, specifically the acute dimensions of these facilities, I am disgusted.

Who decided that these tanks and ponds were large enough for these animals? When was swimming in circles and sleeping on fake ice considered humane?

If these parks charge sixty dollars and over for each ticket and have thousands of people showing up every day why cant they spend the extra money to ensure that these animals have more space? Why wont they?

I had a great day today all things considered. I love seeing all of these exquisite creatures so you wont see me being some obsessive vegetarian-animal rights activist, or even protesting the owners of Seaworld and Bush Gardens. However fellow representatives you can bet that when I start writing bills this year there just might be one about expanding these animals’ habitats and I would hope you all vote to pass them.

Falling in Love at a Taco Shop

“I never knew just what it was about this old coffee (taco) shop I loved so much”

When one is hungry the question pops into your head, what for? Seeing that America is the land of many cultures, we have it all. Autumn and I had a dilemma though, where should we go to eat, and how far did we really want to walk? The answer we wanted Subway, but there was no way in the world we would walk the distance to get an over priced, under stuffed sandwich.

So we decided to be sloth and head over across the street to the less appealing, more walking friendly taco shop.

Autumn and I dined outside of the taco shop at an oversized table with a tostada and chicken burrito… but not for long…

While starting yet another game of 1,2,3 a group of guys came into the taco shop, ordered and one came out. I said he was Autumn’s 2 and as she was deciding, I realized something, he was staring at us a lot.

Autumn and I were chatting about my awesome “The Hangover” t-shirt when he started laughing and put his input into the conversation. Soon he sat down next to us and then what seemed like a second later his friend joined too.

“How old are you?” Was their question after they discovered we were from Phoenix (thanks Autumn for telling them everything) Autumn said she was a senior and before I could add my age they continued talking to us.

As soon as their food was ready they asked if they could eat with us. Autumn and I were already finished and though she gave me a look of deep desire to stay and enjoy the scruffy looking company I said goodbye to Autumn’s number two and his compadre with a bun and we walked across the street.

If you didn’t already guess, Autumn kept this number two and insisted that she was seriously liking him… ILLEGAL in so many ways was my immediate idea, but I trudged more than willingly back in the direction of the taco shop so I could try to get a picture of them for her… it failed, zoom in the dark only enhances so much.

And while the next part of our evening consisted of many other odd 20 something’s hitting on us, Autumn was oddly attracted to this number two… lets call him Connor for our purposes.

Back at the beach house we discovered along with “Last Name” by Carrie Underwood and “In my Head” By Jason Derulo, “Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop” or Taco shop was Autumn and Connor’s song.

My theory is that tomorrow we will make another trip to the taco shop where we will see if they happen to show up, if so I can certainly see a wedding in the near future, I picture a Spanish theme, mismatched plates for the dinner, a color scheme of bright golds, greens, reds, and yellows. The venue will naturally be the beach for the ceremony and then the reception will be held at the Dirty Bird, for reasons that the viewers of this blog wouldn’t understand. Her dress will be a simple mermaid dress with lots of lace. The food will be classic Mexican, and it will be served and eaten family style. The music will be classics meets now, with a spotlight first dance to a most brilliant Landon Pigg song…

“If I didn't know you I'd rather not know
If I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew

All of the while
All of the while
All of the while it was you, you!”