At 11:35 am my ride picked me up and we were on our way to Starbucks. 10 minutes later I was ordering a Grande café vanilla frappachino with extra whip cream. The woman working there asked me if I wanted it in a venti cup. Sure, whatever floats your boat I was thinking, “Sure” I said.
When they called my name I pounded the rapper off of my straw and stuck it into my drink, only to find my hand being attached to a Blob of Whip cream! I didn’t know what to think of this drink, it was half coffee sure, but more importantly it was a huge Blob of whip cream that didn’t seem to dissipate, but instead just like in 1958 seemed to be taking over my drink and if I didn’t act fast might just consume me and the entire town! (Entire Starbucks.)
Just like Steve, poking it with a stick, or in my case a green Starbucks straw, only seemed to make it more active…
This ameba of whip cream made me want to throw it away and shoot it with a fire extinguisher, but seeing that it had not been I who purchased it, I began to drink the thing…
It was overly sweet, not only was the Blob mocking me, but the lady who prepared it was obviously new and overpowered the delicious legal caffeinated drug with too much vanilla. Every sip made me want to drink an ocean of water, bitter, bitter water; something with no taste that could counter this Irvin Yeaworth horror drink. The only refuge to this Blob was a delightful conversation of communism and taking over the galaxy.
Since I was 14 I have always dreamed of working at Starbucks, however you have to be 16 with a work permit from ones school, my dreams have been put on a temporary hold. But maybe, just maybe Starbucks should reconsider the age of their employees… as much as it would pain me and Anna Miller, to maybe anyone over the age of 52? That way a monstrosity of a drink can never be made for anyone again.
If that doesn’t work, perhaps the employees of Starbucks wouldn’t mind having a movie night where they could watch this movie and learn the correct ratio of whip cream to coffee? It might help many a Steve, polite cinema goers, and even one overly opinionated person such as myself.
Starbucks, in all fairness, has my favorite coffee on most days, despite the trauma forced on me today. Maybe one day a comical sequel will be made for this drink, “Beware! The Blob!” But, for now, I’ll keep my grandes, grandes and ventis, ventis…
No comments:
Post a Comment