Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

Lord knows it would be the first time…

You know The Smiths have an incredible insight to what I feel many people are feeling many a time in their lives. I think a lot of people are waiting for something they want, are desperately dreaming that they get it soon, or maybe even questioning why they want it.

Webster defines desire as long "to long or hope for, to express a wish for” Urban Dictionary defines desire as “the cause of suffering” or my personal favorite “when you want sumtin’ bad!”

As I sit in my bedroom listening to The Smiths and She & Him I have to wonder why things don’t always work out the way we want them to? Why am I still pining over something I know I shouldn’t? Why is there this desire for this something that didn’t do me well in the past?

A theory I have is perhaps I didn’t receive correct closer. Perhaps I wasn’t fully satisfied with the ending this haiku provided me with…

Just yesterday a friend of mine posed the question on his Facebook, “how come after all the sh**t you put me through, I still can’t get over you?” Most everyone agreed that this was a timeless question that they themselves couldn’t figure out. And after I examined it myself I wondered the same thing.

I am sitting next to where I first really realized something, where I wrote a bridge between this, where I got lost… I am not trying to confuse my perhaps two readers of this blog by being elusive, but at this time I refuse to give too many details away… it makes me both frustrating and deep I think.

Anyways, as I sit here so close to where so much happened I am sitting at a cross rode where I muse whether this is impractical and outlandish, or maybe I just haven’t looked deeply enough into this and I need to take a step back before I draw conclusions.

“So for once in my life, let me get what I want, lord knows it would be the first time…”

Do you find yourself identifying with these lyrics? Is there something you want but can’t get to right now? Do you wonder what makes you crave this thing? Are you debating whether these feelings are even called for?

I am. It is that simple, it is exactly what I feel. Not all the time I guess, but at night sometimes or when there is silence my thoughts go straight to this desire…

The sad thing is perhaps at one time myself and this desire were heading towards the same door but now I fear one, or both have resolved to change hall ways and get lost from the other.

At this point I know I am confused… not terminally, but for some time I will be. If you are in this same situation asking please, please, please let me then I feel utterly and entirely remorseful for you… because as amazing as those lyrics are, this desolate wasteland of thinking and wondering is more than I, and probably you, would like circle in.